SPEAK AMERICANO!!!!!!!!

Let's speak hypothetically here. Say one day I decide on a whim that Germany looks like a rather nice country to live in. I mean after all, they have mountains, they have tall Germans, I can breed tall kids, they have German chocolate cake. So I pack up and move. I decide that speaking German is too far below me and so I breed this kid who can learn both languages and be my interpreter. Because I'm lazy. And stuck up.

NO!!!!!!! This happened to me at work today. This Chinese couple came in looking for a TV and don't speak a word of English. They have one 16 year old child and one 5 year old child. The 16 year old speaks very broken English and  none of the other three speak any English whatsoever. After a grueling 2 hours of trying to explain TV options and pricing and how to change the language settings on the freaking TV, (and "No, for the fifteenth time I cannot give you anything for free") I finally get this couple to ring up a TV and find out they have lived on the island for about 12 years.

I will be sending a petition around to sign. It will require anyone entering the States with the intent to live permanently to speak decent English. Anyone achieving green card status will need to be fluent.

Seriously, if I was to move to another country I would be learning the language pronto. Or choose Australia.