SPEAK AMERICANO!!!!!!!!

Let's speak hypothetically here. Say one day I decide on a whim that Germany looks like a rather nice country to live in. I mean after all, they have mountains, they have tall Germans, I can breed tall kids, they have German chocolate cake. So I pack up and move. I decide that speaking German is too far below me and so I breed this kid who can learn both languages and be my interpreter. Because I'm lazy. And stuck up.

NO!!!!!!! This happened to me at work today. This Chinese couple came in looking for a TV and don't speak a word of English. They have one 16 year old child and one 5 year old child. The 16 year old speaks very broken English and  none of the other three speak any English whatsoever. After a grueling 2 hours of trying to explain TV options and pricing and how to change the language settings on the freaking TV, (and "No, for the fifteenth time I cannot give you anything for free") I finally get this couple to ring up a TV and find out they have lived on the island for about 12 years.

I will be sending a petition around to sign. It will require anyone entering the States with the intent to live permanently to speak decent English. Anyone achieving green card status will need to be fluent.

Seriously, if I was to move to another country I would be learning the language pronto. Or choose Australia.

Kayaks and Sunburns

Don't think that just because you have a good base tan you can't still get a sunburn. I was foolish and retarded enough to think this. Generally, I am sooo good at putting sunscreen on and keeping my skin safe and healthy. This past week I got a little sun happy and after five hours in the sun turned a nice ripe tomato red. I had to show up to work like that and since I work with all guys you can imagine how many comments I received. Luckily, one of the guys decided to emulate me and today it was my turn to pick on him. Ahh the sweetness of revenge. Our lesson today, wear sunscreen alllllll the time in Hawaii, even if you have a tan already.

Sunday we decided to kayak to an island called Chinaman's Hat off the North Shore of Oahu. This is a little over a half a mile out and the surf was pretty calm getting there in the kayaks until we got to the opposite side facing the ocean. My kayak tipped over since I have an over eager boyfriend with more muscle than he knows what to do with. There is a tiny beach on the ocean facing side. The island is shaped after the straw hats farmers wear in China. Hence the name if you couldn't follow that. We hiked to the top of the island(about 500 feet up) and the view up there is spectacular. You get a good 180 degree view of Oahu's windward side and the Koolau mountains. Well worth the kayak trip and climb. I will definitely do this again with any friends that visit me.

Chinaman's Hat from the Koalua Beach Park

Koalua Park with the Koolau Mountains in the background

Venting on Lazy Humans

I know I have mentioned this before but I don't get people who spend their entire weekend just laying around the house watching TV or surfing the internet. What happened to getting together with friends or family and doing outdoor activities? This is why America is FAT. And I don't mean Phat. I mean effing FAT. You know why you have to use a wheelchair to get from the car to the store? It's not because of your genes. It's not because of a medical condition. It's because over the last fifteen years you have spent every spare second sitting on your ass in front of the TV eating 2500 calorie TV dinners and McDonalds takeout. It's because instead of taking the kids out and teaching them sports or how to enjoy nature, you hand them a PS3 and start them on their journey to get fat as well. I have no sympathy for you hunched over in your wheelchair, sweating buckets simply trying to reach a remote control. I have no respect either, merely disgust. And I will tell my friends later about you so we may laugh at your expense.

This probably seems very judgemental and inhumane, and you are probably saying, "Joey, you're so sweet and innocent. Why would you say such things?" One, I'm not sweet and innocent, and two, stop being so soft. Don't make me high five your face.

In other news, I conquered another hike (no fat for me for a bit) and found a relatively decent Greek restaurant on the east side of the island. Not the best Greek I have had, but decent Greek food considering it's run by Asians who specialize in different hot sauces.

Pigs in Trees

Another five hour hike along the Likeke Trail via the Old Pali Highway. This road is no longer in use and winds along the mountain to hook up with a trail that leads under the currently used Pali Highway. You have to hike under the highway then along a small ridge to a waterfall.

This waterfall is so far the best one I have seen on the island so far. I took my friend Christina and it took us three hours to get to the end. Along the way we ran into three dead baby pigs hanging in the trees. Not sure why they were hanging there but my final solution since I couldn't find anything on the internet about it is that these pigs were attempting to fly and failed. It took us another two hours to get back to the truck and by that time we were tired, sore, and spent. Good hike though. I may have to do it again with some more friends.

In other issues, I have discovered that while Hawaiians, at least the construction workers, are some of the laziest people I have ever seen they like to start work insanely early in the morning. Sometimes it has been before six am and today was eight. I had to look up the quiet hours and sadly they run from 10pm-8am so there was nothing I could do about it today. Also I am really freaking close to throwing a brick through the windshield of my neighbor's white acura outside my window. Anytime anything with a deep muffler or lack thereof zips past our house her alarm goes off. I swear I'll give that car a reason to go off. 

Life in General

Yesterday I went hiking with my brother and three others to a waterfall in the heart of Oahu. We ended up getting lost and taking a side trail that turned a two hour hike into a five hour hike but isn't that usually the best kind of hike? There are two pools at the end of the waterfall and I ended up jumping in and the water was FREEZING!! Colder than the water in the mountains in the springtime. So cold. I was proud of myself for jumping in though since I have a bad fear of having my head under water. Ironically, the two people most afraid of water and who can't swim, (my brother and I) were the only two to get into the water. We may have our phobias but we also like to push ourselves.

I am really liking my job right now at Best Buy. Today I moved from Customer Service to Magnolia Home Theatre and I have to say, I LOVE being back with technology and learning all about TVs and HD again. I tend to soak up the info like a sponge and that gets me really excited. I hope this goes well for me and I succeed very well. I aim to succeed.

Tomorrow I plan on another hike with my new friend Christina and her friend. I'm loving that I have new friends that like being outside. I'm planning on the Pali Lookout hike which is a bit longer but should be awesome with views unless it's raining like it is now. I do love a good rainy day though. I can't even complain about those here.

First Friday

Ever first Friday of the month in Honolulu, Chinatown hosts a four block party that showcases art galleries in the district and small corner chic bars. It's very popular and generally THE place to be that one Friday of the month. I decided to go last night for my first First Friday, although I quickly discovered it would have been much more fun had I been a little intoxicated. Maybe a lot more.

I discovered many art galleries and small design shops I hadn't been aware of before and also some cool bars, one being an Irish pub called O'tooles, (but then you can never go wrong with an Irish pub), a multi-room dance club called SoHo, (apparently this is where all the girls on the island hang out), and a cool sushi and wine bar called Bambu with a dance floor next door. There is a rather large glass art gallery I will need to check out further since I have a fascination with glass art. The city shuts down Hotel street for a couple of blocks and by ten oclock the streets are packed with every ethnicity the island holds. Quite a few places charge cover but if you search hard some of them don't and the ones that don't usually have the best atmosphere anyway.

Hiking

I didn't use to like hiking but ever since Moab last April I really have developed a passion for it. Since I've been in Hawaii, I have tried to hike once a week at least and the hikes here are some of the most beautiful I have ever done. Inland hikes are often damp being in the middle of the jungle and the air has a heavy earth scent after it rains. Hikes on the outer banks are often rocky and right on the ocean. None of them are boring. I particularly like the hikes that have waterfalls but apparently for the best waterfall hikes I am on the wrong island. I am posting a couple pics below of the hike I did on Wednesday to Manoa Falls.

Today I am headed to the beach. I haven't had a full beach day in some time and am looking forward to just spending hours in the sand with the sun kissing my skin. I need to up my tan factor anyway. The first pic is also from Wednesday and the people in it are stand-up paddling. It's a fantastic way to work your abs while hanging out in the water too. It's on my list of things to accomplish this year.

My Postsecret

Every Sunday I check the website Postsecret. This is something I look forward to every week. Sometimes they make me laugh but often they make me cry. Too many of these secrets hit home so hard it's often difficult to read them, but I still do. It makes me feel not so out of place and different since someone else out there is going through the same thing. We all have secrets, some more than others. I have many many secrets that even the closest people to me don't know. I don't think some are actually secrets but more self-realizations. I don't think I have fully "self-realized" myself yet, but I have more than when I was 18. One thing I have realized most recently is that I am terrified to fall in love again. As of today though and some information I found out, I have decided to let go of some things and someone, and maybe take a leap and give another person a chance.

New Year's Eve

So, here it is, New Year's Eve and I'm home alone. Moment of silence for my pity-party. I don't really want to be alone but also I'm not regretting not ringing in the New Year being drunk off my ass and wishing I could remember more of the night like I am sure most of friends will be doing.

I did finish my resolutions list which will start tomorrow. Hopefully this year I can get everything checked off my list.
1. Become debt free
2. Own a car
3. Find “The One”- does not mean get married
4. Visit Colorado
5. Visit Grandma
6. Go see Olivia
7. Visit Marie or have her come here
8. CENSORED. (haha) ;)
9. Work out frequently
10. Cut out fast food.- does not include pizza, chicken wings, or subway
11. Eat a healthy diet.
12. Make a budget
13. Stick to my budget
14. Learn to swim
15. Learn to stand up paddle
16. Kayak
17. See Grand Canyon
18. Knock off at least two more states on the list
19. Get back into photography
20. Get a good camera
21. Skydive
22. Hit up cedar point
23. Look into going back to school
24. If not school, consider reserves or vice versa
25. Stay Hot or relatively good looking
26. Stay happy

Whether or not I accomplish any or all of these goals doesn't matter since I will more than likely find something to replace them or do instead of them. That's it for now though since I'm one hour away from the New Year and on the phone with someone special.